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| Joyous is today, for it is the end of the week of (quite a few) horrors; however, i will say that a good number of pleasant events transpired, too, so it wasn't truly horrific, i suppose. In other news, i'm sincerely exhausted with the fact that a significant amount of proud owners of the y chromosome have decided that i am the sort of girl they'd like to "be with" or "date," simply due to the fact that they find me (attractive, cute, beautiful, pretty, et cetera). STOP IT, YOU WEIRDOS. IT IS HONESTLY FREAKING ME OUT, SO IF YOU COULD STAY AWAY FOR A WHILE I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT. THANK YOU. That message was brought to you by the association dedicated to the use of capslock, even when it may not have been completely necessary. It doesn't even matter that i posted that, but i feel slightly relieved that it's off my chest...or mind...or fingers. Truthfully, it wouldn't be so horrible if these people weren't creepy stalkerish types bent on attempting to swindle me into being their girlfriend. And, i will state that when you say that i'm out of your league...then i definitely, most certainly am. That's a very, very stupid statement to make, in my humble opinion. Anyway, i will now continue practicing my piano till my fingers dislodge themselves from my hand and run away to Guatemala. | | |
| ...apparently, i am.
also, i seem to be having these dreams, but they are the sort that occur during waking hours...and no, they aren't precisely voluntary.
can't get that out of my brain...i wonder...maybe that's supposed to be there, but that leaves me with much else to ponder and consider.
anyway, i hope you're having a great day...!
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| i am an empty glass, head over tail, toppling toward the floor, off the face of everything i'd known. the comfort of the checked pattern of tablecloth, the faded red and white blurs together, creating a streak like a hurricane smearing across my vision.
abruptly, i have landed as quickly as i have fallen, and in gathering myself and my bearings together, i discover i am unharmed...rather, i am in a new environment. surveying the area, i find stepping stones...smooth, slick, and nearly impossible to scale when placed on top of one another. it is utterly evident to me that i have my work cut out for me...for i have found a new avenue, a new destination shining in the distance, far away from what i've known.
all of me feels strange, as though i've been turned inside out and flipped backwards, twisted and churned into a semblance of what i've been and who i'll be...
....i'm striving.
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| ...is that it has a few perks.
One major upside to illness (for me, anyway) is the amount of dreaming i seem to experience is increased ten fold, and my imagination, believe it or not, becomes even more wild and untrammeled...probably due to my intake of medication. Being a purist (or so i tell myself), i never take anything other than a daily vitamin (unless otherwise instructed by my mother), so one can only envision the affect that heavy doses of antibiotics and nyquil would have on someone such as myself. For instance, when i did finally succumb to the will of my mother by taking a trip to the doctor's office, all i really remember was how very, abnormally tall the doctor seemed to be, and i vaguely have a feeling that i waved my hand in the nurse's face when she wanted to weigh me, my four layers of clothing, my blanket, and my stuffed velociraptor...what a sight i must have been.
Another positive has been the amount of reading i've been able to do over the past few days. Though my body has been incredibly weak and i've felt that my brain has been swimming in strawberry jello filled with bird bones, i was able to read a total of four books (one that i'd already read previously), and i've been slowly digesting two books of short stories. How much of these books that i will actually retain is in question, since part of the time while i was reading, i was definitely in a surreal, feverish state, and was falling asleep quite frequently over the pages. i'm happy to report, though, that i managed to not get slobber on any of them. i would hate to be forced to dispose of perfectly good books due to dried up sick person spit sticking to the pages.
It has been so refreshing, too, to be able to actually SLEEP. The amazing, natural therapy sleep provides is just marvelous. Waking up with the old cartoon movie The Hobbit playing on my television was so pleasant, too. i can't help myself...i adore that movie.
Now that i've expressed the positives.....
isn't it time for me to be well, now? 
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| f. scott fitzgerald is absolutely amazing...seriously, read this gorgeous piece of artistry:
"The sunlight dripped over the house like golden paint over an art jar, and the freckling shadows here and there only intensified the rigor of the bath of light..."
--(an excerpt from) "The Ice Palace"
also, i really enjoyed this statement from the character Ardita, found in his short story entitled "The Offshore Pirate":
"'...All life is just a progression toward, and then a recession from, one phrase--"I love you."'"
retyping that statement gave me a chance to play around with some quotations, as you can see...i wonder if i utilized them correctly. anyway, reading some of his short stories has renewed my interest in him, and in his time period...i love literature...i love languages. they're so fascinating, and i do so wish that i was fluent in reading a myriad of others in addition to english, and the scant smattering of spanish, french, german, and latin...
perhaps i just need to get motivated, or take some classes eventually. why not?
if i run out of time, it'll be okay...that's what i keep telling myself...
it's gonna be okay.
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